Paul Pružina is okay, I guess.

Paul Pruznia is great, but the háček-touting Paul Pružina is but a cheap pretender to the throne with a confusing surname.

Paul Pružina is kind of alright at some things, like running fast, but not so good at other things, like punching the correct controls. He would like a Full Blue. He is a world-class orienteer, but we don't count that because he's Irish. He recently competed at the prestigious Junior World Orienteering Championships - an achievement that very rarely comes up in CUOC news articles. True to form, he achieved a mixed bag of strong results and mispunches. He also finished 28th in the Junior European Cup this summer, which is neither first nor last place. Paul was the most average runner at the East Anglian Championships, with a time that equalled the mean, median and mode for his category.

Paul is currently club Training Officer, and has been described as "on the CUOC committee". He is undoubtedly the most passionate and vigorous holder of the role since Rory Burford, who was Training Officer of the 2015/16 committee. He is also the second best Quartermaster that the club has had in the last two years, having not introduced anything new and zazzy such as alternate-colour tops, but having successfully ordered the first new batch of CUOC hoodies in "many a-year". His long-term legacy as Quartermaster may be improved if he starts remembering to pack vital pieces of orienteering equipment (for example, kites) for orienteering sessions, but ultimately it hinges on whether or not Emma will allow him to purchase sparkly blue CUOC leggings for BUCS this year.

Paul can either do the physical or mental aspect of cross-country, I forget which. He recently performed well at the varsity cross country, but this is of little interest to anyone reading this compendium of orienteering news. His interests include the online game “Catching Features”, and spending precisely an hour to eat his lunch. This is because he studies maths, which makes most other things sound fun.

He also enjoys competing in clock relays, except when his partner is running, which is approximately half the time. During clock relays such as at Training Tour 2015 and Norway 2016, he has oft been witnessed almost doing something really cool and yet not quite pulling it off. Consequently, there are a lot of very wobbly camera shots of him getting back up from the floor. His concerns regarding a long wait-time are quite reasonable: if Paul has to stand around for too long while his partner is in this forest, he will be drawn back into obit around his older sister in a process known as "being bothersome".

Paul Pružina is a beautiful and rare creature, but many things can trigger his more primal nature. Please exercise caution in his presence and refrain from mentioning the following topics: people who walk too slowly; the difference between 'less' and 'fewer'; cross-country; Londonderry/Derry; sparkly blue leggings; Snow Patrol; the potential uses of biceps; Brexit; Trump; stupid people; cross-country running; Catholics; Protestants; the colour orange; Ludovico Einaudi; the Hare and Hounds; the glycaemic index of a potato; people who dress inappropriately for outdoor activities; how to dress appropriately for the supermarket; how best to make porridge; how strong to make tea; people who wear shorts and leggings; people who play rugby; barefoot running; Strava; Uggs; dividing by zero.

All in all, he's okay, I guess.

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