A CUOCer goes to Skanderborg, then Vejle, then Skanderborg again, then Vejle again

On Thursday, it was James's turn to enter the CUOC terrible travel awards 2018. After Monday's outstanding entry from Fiona and Paul's valiant effort two days later, the bar had been set high.

Starting in fine style, James made good time back to the hostel, stopping only briefly to acquire some chocolate. With CUOC's official endorsements in mind, James purchased some BOF-certified performance-enhancing milk-form chocolate, and continued to disavow sandwich-form chocolate. Once aboard the train, James enjoyed the views of the skøg, which were good, and noticed his lack of passport, which was not.

Not wanting to waste good train tickets, James continued from Skanderborg towards Copenhagen, wondering if he could get on the plane anyway, perhaps by asking really really nicely. At Vejle, James decided to go back, and collected his passport from Lily in Skanderborg. Lily and James then got the train back to Vejle, where Lily got off, carelessly making her connection and flight in good time, and thus becoming the first CUOCer to be eliminated from the terrible travel awards.

When the train arrived in Copenhagen, the plane departed Copenhagen, which was bad because James isn't fastlikePaul, so he couldn't get through the airport in time. Frequent contact was maintained with Fiona, who was kept up to date on the comparative comfiness of the airport's benches. Eventually a suitable bench was found, and James enjoyed a pengerific night's sleep, interrupted only by the frequent alarm tests, and a crippling fear of being mugged.

In the morning, now a world expert on Copenhagen Kastrup's emergency evacuation procedure, James decided to go into the city. Copenhagen was nice, with it's beautiful churches, buzzing harbour and drug-ridden semi-autonomous anarchist freetown.

Eventually it was time to go to the airport, where a new easyJet flight awaited. Happily, James made it on time for his flight, sadly, the plane did not. A mere 3 hours later, easyJet decided to give some gate information, which was that the gate was closed, and at the furthest end of the airport. A lot of Scottish people starting running and shouting, and agreed that they didn't like your bastard English planes.

Finally aboard a flight, the captain tried to appease the enraged Scots, inexplicably blaming the refuelers at Copenhagen for the flight's three hour arrival delay. He also tried to rally some sympathy for the crew, who were 'just as angry as we were' and were 'also really really tired'. Comforted by the news that the pilot was definitely in a safe mental state to fly, everyone fell asleep. James finally touched down in Edinburgh at 2:09am, a time carefully recorded to that he can claim his delayed arrival compensation and break even financially on the whole return journey!

Unfortunately, an incredible rival effort has been mounted by Phil, who's terrible travel entry is sponsored by Ryanair and Greater Anglia, and culminated in a funny gif send to the group chat. What a fiasco indeed, Phil, what a fiasco.

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