Cambridge University
Orienteering Club

It could hardly be said to have been a lively group of CUOCers that assembled on platform eight, Cambridge railway station, at 06:44 – more or less to the minute in some cases – waiting for their train to depart.

The inevitable question went round: ‘what time did you wake up?’ Each answered in turn, with every reply seeming earlier and more miserable than the last. There was a small mercy: for most, the suffering was not to last, with a return to blissful slumber as we left London. Exit London, suffering ends is, of course, a common sequence of events.

Elsewhere, a convoy of motor-cars was trundling its way south. Happily? Perhaps. Who can say? Remember, if you’d like your travel documented in the Official 2025 Varsity Report, you’d better follow the route favoured by the Official 2025 Varsity Reporter.

Despite the distance separating the groups, the still-conscious minds must have been fixed on the same terrifying thought, for there were perils lying in wait for us. For every death at the sharp prick of a gorse thorn, we would lose three friends to the adders; for every man or woman made into snake supper, the unexploded bombs would claim three more lives. For every person perishing in the fireworks, three more would stray into the naturist beach, forfeiting their modesty at the hands – or not quite hands – of a beachgoer. And for every soul so purged of will to live, three more would, worst of all, stray into a marsh. The Final Details had made it clear (to anyone reading between the lines) that crossing a marsh was now a capital offence. Heading for the south coast, a mere stone’s throw from France, the spectre of the guillotine loomed before us.

The journey came to an end, as most journeys do, and our rail and motor divisions met in a wet, dreary National Trust beach car park. It was going to be a while until most of our starts. What were we to do in the mean-time? We settled on an activity, which one might know by either of two names: ‘estimating the distance to the start’ or ‘stating random numbers in an authoritative tone’. The correct answer to the former game, as those pedantic about GPS recording everything eventually discovered, was 1¾ km. The latter game has no correct answer, and is, therefore, the more complex and subtle of the two.

This was a sand dunes course. Many of us had never orienteered on sand dunes before. Our expectations were thus mixed: on one hand, being inexperienced, we didn’t know quite what to expect. On the other hand, it seemed quite logical to expect the course to be made out of sand dunes.

The former intuition was the more useful of the two. Venturing into the wilderness, there was little sand to be found. Instead, laid before us was a carpet of heather and lichen, draped over a sizeable colony of Lumps.

Lumps are generally regarded as one of the more challenging contour features; it was not an easy course. Nonetheless – or, depending on one’s point of view, consequently – it was certainly an enjoyable one.

Everybody finished the course alive – although I use the term ‘finished’ in a broad sense – even after the marsh-crossing punishments were accounted for.

Our demise averted, CUOC could raise its ambitions. Let’s check the results. The men’s team had cunningly managed to interleave themselves between adjacent pairs of Oxford runners, guaranteeing a defeat in the neatest way possible. James Ackland was the first CUOC man back, a mere 30 seconds off the lead, followed by Alexander Corbett. Our female side fared distinctly better: Ciel Matthew won the women’s race by an impressive five-minute margin (with Sophie Preston next CUOCer home) putting the two teams’ total times within 10 seconds. Alas, it was OUOC that came out on top. However, if one were to multiply the times instead of adding them, as one naturally finds oneself doing on a Saturday evening, then one would find that CUOC won by 2008 min³. One observes that while, strictly speaking, this is dimensionally incompatible with 10 seconds, and thus the physicists forbid us from comparing them, it definitely looks a lot bigger.

We headed to our Scout-hut-floor accommodation, stopping only to freeload off the local leisure centre’s shower facilities. (We nearly accidentally paid them in lost-property hats, but the rightful owner cottoned on just in time.)

What happened in the evening? Well, we will get to Werewolf and the decline of civilisation, but this requires context.

Few would, as one might for other sports, describe the typical CUOC Varsity Orienteering experience as a hostile grudge match, fuelled by months of festering hatred for the Dark Blues. Indeed, cross-Oxbridge relations have been excellent (including, of course, one in particular) for as long as I can remember. This is a tradition that we should be proud of, it is one we should retain and, until this weekend, it is one which few would have regarded as threatened.

It was a surprise, then, when a friendly game of Werewolf gave rise to a display of partisanship rarely seen this side of the Atlantic. Decision after decision pitted Cantabrigian against Oxfordian, with votes falling straight down party lines. The modern age of polarisation comes for us all.

What we have lost in unity and open-mindedness, perhaps we have gained in docility and sense; everyone was in bed nice and early, hoping for a refreshing night before tomorrow’s relay. Of course, all one could really ensure was a nice lie down in the dark for several hours; sleeping is another matter entirely.

Sunday’s entertainment was a relay around Wareham. Wareham is a town of two halves, giving rise to a relay of three legs, the first and third being whizz round the north bit and whizz round the south bit. I leave the route of the second leg as an exercise.

As is so often the case, finding the start presented more of a challenge than the event itself; the starting line was looking distinctly barren until a great horde of runners flooded into the field from a direction that raised questions. Specifically, ‘how on Earth did you end up there?’ and ‘did you see any controls?’

The relay format was perfect: just complicated enough that nobody knew what they were doing next, but not so complicated that they’d be unable to do it. Will Thomas, Sophie Preston and I (Tom Fryers) all did well, with our pairs finishing fourth, third and second, respectively, with Sophie and Will also having the fastest individual times for their respective sexes.

The weekend’s excitement over, it was time to head back. The journey home was not without incident – Delay Repay will have buoyed the CUOC balance sheet for years to come – but no lives or limbs were lost. And so, the trip ended, with us defeated, unharmed, satisfied and looking forward to Varsity 2026.

CUOC hosted a successful BUCS weekend on the 9/10th March, with the individual combined with NOR's Midland Champs at Sandringham, and a sprint relay (inaugural for BUCS) at Trumpington Meadows.

All the results from the weekend can be seen here.

30 CUOC members took part in the races, as well as ably assisting Peter Molloy (overall coordinator) with the running of the event. CUOC would also like to thank WAOC, EAOA, NOR and Trumpington Meadows Wildlife Reserve for their cooperation and support: we would not have been able to host such a successful event without them.

Photos by Dik Ng coming soon, but in the meantime, here's a picture of overall champions Edinburgh.

With just one week to go until BUCS 2024 in Cambridge, we are delighted to announce that final details can now be read here.

This document contains all you need to know for the weekend. The document is also available on our dedicated BUCS page.

Please also find below the outfit themes for the Saturday night meal and social. The theme is 'At the Movies' to celebrate the Oscars, which are being held just after the BUCS relay! We have liaised with the Oscars organisers and they are happy with us to usurp them by outdressing them the night before their big day. We hope you will all be looking wonderful in your various guises.

CUOC: Barbie

EUOC/Heriot Watt/Napier: Pirates of the Carribean

SHUOC: Harry Potter

OUOC: Marvel

Bristol: Top Gun

Loughborough/Leeds: Cars

UCL: Toy Story

All Other Universities: Twilight

We look forward to welcoming you to Cambridge!